The Do-Nothing-est Congress

Fun facts for the day:

 

“The People's Representatives have been in session for all of 80 days this year, and with 15 days remaining on the legislative calendar, the House is on pace to shatter all records for inactivity. The ‘Do-Nothing’ House of 1948 was positively frenetic by comparison, passing 1,191 measures in 110 days in session.

 

The current House has passed barely 400 measures, including this week's lineup of legislative priorities: H. Res. 912, ‘Supporting the goals and ideals of National Life Insurance Awareness Month’ and H. Res. 605, ‘Recognizing the life of Preston Robert Tisch and his outstanding contributions to New York City, the New York Giants Football Club, the National Football League, and the United States.’”

 

Although this doesn’t need further comment (no one needs explanation as to why this is despicable), I find it interesting that Congress voted to increase their pay by $3300 this year, capping out at almost $170,000. In the last nine years, “members of Congress have voted to give themselves pay raises -- technically ‘cost of living increases’ -- totaling $31,600, or more than $15 an hour for a 40-hour week, 52 weeks a year, according to the Congressional Research Service” (CNN). By contrast, Congress has not increased the federal minimum wage since 1996 (the last change taking affect in September 1997).

 

Now I know better than anyone that working hours cannot be judged on the basis of clocked hours; although I’m only in the classroom and office a few hours a week I easily work over 50 a week doing research. Nevertheless, it would be particularly instructive to do the math with consideration for their actual time in session. And if we are interested in comparisons, don’t forget to subtract the changes caused by inflation; as of today the real value of minimum wage is lower than it has been since 1955.

 

I wonder if, in Congressional restrooms, instead of toilets they just have poor people. Poor people sit there all day, keeled over, waiting for Reps and Senators to come in and do their business on their backs or heads.

 

Better still, I wonder if there is some grassroots group somewhere which has been instructing all of its members for years and years to save their poop, all the while clandestinely planning a massive Poop On Congress Day wherein all members will travel from all corners of the country to spread their collective, collected dissatisfaction on the lying white purity of Capitol Hill. I can hear their spokeswoman now: “O thou weed, who are so lovely fair and smell’st so sweet that the sense aches at thee. Was this most goodly book made to write ‘whore’ upon? Heaven stops the nose at it.” And then, the drum of their chant as they do what needs be done: “Impudent strumpet! Impudent strumpet! Impudent strumpet!”

 

The revolution will not be televised.

 

It will be poop.